Fun in the sun!

The last few weeks have been very busy as Mark is recovering from surgery on his left shoulder. He had a torn ligament due to an injury and work and needed surgery to repair it. I don't think either of us realized just how difficult the recovery would be for him. He has to keep the joint stationary for six weeks so he is in a sling to keep it still. Unfortunately, the pressure of the sling on his neck caused a herniated disc in his neck which is causing even more pain. He is having a rough time. We are hopeful that things will get better quickly so he can have some relief from the pain.

Because of this, we have been hanging alot in the apartment the past few weeks. Alexa has been a trooper, but I know she gets a little antsy just staying home. So last Sunday we took Alexa to a little park next to a church in Decatur. It is perfect for young children because they have a lot of Little Tikes plastic toddler toys for children too young for the playground equipment. The weather was beautiful, and the park wasn't too crowded. We all had so much fun! I can't believe how quickly she is growing up! Mark and I got a little teary eyed while watching Alexa play with another little girl. She seems to already understand how important it is to share- which I know is unusual for a child this age. The other girl, a three year old, was playing with a ball. Alexa loves balls, so she gravitated toward this one when the girl threw it. She grabbed it, and then walked up to the little girl with the sweetest little look on her face, and handed it to her. They played together for awhile like this. I was so proud of her! I loved watching her play so nicely with another little one!

Here are some shots from the park:
Sliding...





Playing with the cars




Swinging...






Having fun with Mama and Daddy...






Does life get any better?

Staying home... staying busy...

So, the last few months I have been a little frustrated in my role as a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong, I love the time with Alexa, but I do feel like I am missing something- almost like I am floundering a little. Part of this feeling, I'm sure, has to do with my depression which still isn't quite under control. But I have come to realize that in all my years of school and work, I was used to "accomplishing" things- in school, I'd get a grade (hopefully it was an A) and while teaching, I would see my students learn a new task, or get observed and "graded" on my teaching. I always have put a lot of emphasis on my outward achievements-- probably more than I should have. I have been praying a lot about placing more emphasis on my inward state of mind. After my dad died, I really struggled with being angry at God- I had experienced the loss of my baby and really felt like I was getting the short end of the stick. I have never really recovered from those feelings, although I am slowly able to say that I am beginning to trust God again.

That being said, I have realized that being a stay at home mom IS a job- I may not get a paycheck, I may not get a piece of paper grading the job I am doing with Alexa, but I am still going to be accountable for the job I am doing. I have felt called to be a stay at home mom for about as long as I can remember- but then after I had Alexa, I was a little disappointed. I remember thinking, "Is this what I have been looking forward to?" Having a child was amazing, staying home with her was just exhausting. I lost the feeling of accomplishment I would get while teaching. In my head, I knew I was teaching Alexa daily, I just didn't see it as clearly. After praying about this for awhile, I realize that I need to be more structured in my time with Alexa- mostly in order to feel like I am accomplishing something by the end of the day.

In September, Mark and I are moving all of our stuff back to Woodbine- back to our house. I'm excited to be back in a bigger space, with a yard to play in, but it will be hard to say bye to Mark every weekend. He will be staying in Atlanta to continue to work at the hospital. As hard as that will be, I have decided that I am going to start "Tot School" for Alexa. I first read about Tot School when looking around at different mom blogs and I came across this one: http://1plus1plus1equals1.blogspot.com. The mom there has taken the play time her children naturally have every day and planned at least one hour of intentional playtime that is educational in nature. I don't think Alexa should be spending hours in "school" but there is no reason that we can't work on different skills at different times. My friend Kaidi starting working on the alphabet with her son when he turned two. He knew most of his letters by 2 and a half. Alexa loves books, flash cards and seeing new things. Most of the things that I have learned about Tot School are things I do with Alexa already, but it will just keep things a little more structured. At this age, children are hungry for knowledge and so curious. I want to take advantage of the time while I have it!

As we get started with Tot School, I will post ideas and a weekly update about what we are doing. I am excited to get started!

Like mother, like daughter....

The title says it all-- and it terrifies me... now that Alexa is older and learning more everyday, I realize how much of myself I see in her. She is a perfectionist... well, as much as you can be a perfectionist at this age, but she is... just like her mama.

Yesterday, I bought Alexa a shape sorter from the store. I had wanted to get her one for awhile, but hadn't ever gotten around to it. I know they are good for fine motor skills, and she has gotten so much better the past few weeks, I thought it would be a good time. We sat down on the floor and I showed her how the shapes would fall through if you put it in the right spot. Now, she is only 16 months old, so obviously she doesn't know her shapes yet, nor does she know how to match things up perfectly, but she got the basic idea about what she was supposed to do. I helped her put the first few through, and she wanted to take over. Of course, she didn't get the star shape through the right spot, but she sure tried- over and over and over... And when she couldn't get it through, she threw it on the ground and screamed out of frustration. So she picked up a new piece and did the same thing. Even after I showed her where to put it, she still was determined to do it her own way. She had the most precious face in the world, sticking out her tongue, determined to get it in. I could tell that she was getting frustrated when she couldn't do it by herself- which is totally me.

I have always been a perfectionist- straight A's, officer in any activity I was in during school, etc. My parents encouraged me to try different activities, but when I wasn't good immediately, I would quit. I didn't like being mediocre at something- I wanted to be the best. I still tend to feel that if I can't be great at something at the beginning, I don't want to participate. I know that I miss out on fun times because I am scared of failing... and I do not want that for my daughter. I want her to know that it is ok to not be perfect at something the first time, and that working to improve at something is sometimes better than just being good to start with. With God's help, I'll be able to show her that it is ok to fail- the most important thing is picking yourself back up and trying again.

Crazy month...

What a month... I feel like it was just the 4th of July and here we are almost to mid-August. Wow! The month of July seemed to just fly by! Alexa went to her 15 month appointment on July 6 and we had a good report on all accounts! She had gained almost 2.5 lbs making her 19 pounds 4 oz which put her in the 5th percentile for her weight. She was off the chart for a few months, so it was good to see her back on the charts this last appointment. She only had to get one shot and handled it with minimal tears. Her sign language seems to have helped her with her language development because her doctor said she was about three months advanced with her language skills. She is growing up so fast!

As of July 6, she had about 6 words she used regularly: mama, daddy, eye, done, puppy, fish, and shoe. She had said about 18 up to that point but didn't use them with any consistently. She has continued to use her sign language (she LOVES signing "baby") so she can communicate relatively well for a 15 month old.

The latter part of July is always time for Mark's tournaments; he fishes two tournaments a year with his dad and brother on their boat "Marty R." It's a lot of work for the guys, but they love it. They didn't place this year, but they had a good time! Because of his tournaments, Alexa and I have been on our own a lot of the time. We have been having a great time reading books, playing, dancing and singing. It is hard work taking care of Alexa on my own- I realize just how much I rely on Mark to help out when he is here. Mark being away certainly helps me to appreciate him even more.

I have had a bit of health scare the past few weeks. Without going into too much detail, I have an issue going on with one of my breasts that could possibly be cancer. I have had a few tests done, and so far everything is coming back normal, but there is still a chance that it is breast cancer. It has been a harsh realization that I may have to fight something that I have no control over... and that has certainly helped me to try to trust God more then ever. Even though I still have one more year til 30, the reality of my aging body, and the various ailments that can occur with age, is scary. I know I am still young, but I realize more then ever the importance of being and staying healthy.